Just Call Me Crazy

This week we had a conference with Panda's third grade teacher, MrsThirdGradeTeacher, because for the last two and a half weeks she has been taking 3 hours to do 30 minutes of homework. This usually happens about 6 weeks into school , but this year, she has started a bit early. She has a difficult time not with reading the words, but with comprehending what she is reading. It's like she can see the words, but cannot always string them together to form a picture in her head of what she is reading.
Similarly, this occurs in math, but is easily fixed by creating a tactile lesson she can relate to, manipulate and ultimately, figure out the answer. Sometimes reteaching something in a way she will understand is an exercise in futility. And sometimes, I really want to shoot myself. Most of the time though, I just want to help my daughter be successful in school.
So each year, before the real panic manifests itself and the teacher is caught off guard, I schedule a conference to give the teacher a heads up and make sure we are on the same page. One would think this would be a simple process but, it is not.
When a parent starts off the year with a problem, the alarm bells go off. The teacher thinks "Oh no, problem parent" and battens down the hatches. Really, I am not a problem parent. I do not harass the teachers and I let them do their job. I also do MY job. More on that later.
This year Panda scored at a fifth grade reading level on a test her teacher administered so when I requested a conference and cited the reasons, I am sure MrsThirdGradeTeacher thought I was off my rocker.
Prior to the conference, I called Panda and Mini Me's former teacher, MrsFirstGradeTeacher, because she knows my children and Panda struggled so much in first grade, that I knew she would be able to help. So I called to pick her brain on how to help Panda visually and tactilely improve her reading and math skills. When I spoke to her, I let her know that Panda was already struggling with the homework and really should not have been because it was all review. Not sure how else to get through to Panda, I asked her for help.
Within 24 hours, MrsFirstGradeTeacher had assembled some material to help me teach Panda how to create pictures in her head of the stories she is reading. She provided resources, examples, exercises to help my Panda and I am so grateful for her help.
Have I mentioned how much I LOVE that woman? How she is the most awesomeness (haven't made up a new word in awhile), most dedicated teacher ever? Well, if so, I'm saying it again. MrsFirstGradeTeacher even went so far as to speak with MrsThirdGradeTeacher about Panda's reading comprehension issues. I'm sure MrsThirdGradeTeacher probably thought MrsFirstGradeTeacher had a screw loose once she told her about the results of Panda's test.
Whatever-it is what it is.
As someone who reads with her every night and watches closely as she tries for hours to complete her homework independently, only to dissolve in tears, I know my daughter is struggling.
I am not ashamed of that. Or disappointed or want her to be something she is not.
I only want to help her. I want her to be successful.
For all three of my kids to be successful.
Because I work with her every day after school, Panda's test scores place her a little above average. This is not an entirely accurate picture. Now, most people would be happy with this and really, I am. However, Panda needs to work independently at the above average level or she is going to drown as the school years go on and get harder. So sometimes, as is the case with Panda, the numbers are skewed.
My job, as her mom, is to validate the numbers, teach her the skills she needs to be successful and have her working independently.
I do this because I love my daughter, and it is my responsibility to provide her with the tools she needs to be successful.
Each year her teachers tell me what a great mom I am for helping her and blah, blah, blah.
Let me be real clear-I am NOT a great mom.
I have so many faults that it is not even funny. I yell, I scream, I curse, I bribe and sometimes, I feed them dinner late and recycle their dirty clothes when I have failed to do the laundry.
All I want though, are for my children to be happy, healthy and successful learners.
The words no, can't and won't do not apply to my children's academic abilities. I do not accept those answers and look for ways to help them overcome whatever obstacles are in their way. This does not make me a "great mom" or my children "lucky".
It means I am doing my job-the job I signed on for when I decided to have children.
I do not need recognition for doing something that is my responsibility. I love my children. I want the best for them. Promoting a love of learning is one of my responsibilities. And even though Panda has certain deficiencies, she has a love a learning.
And really, THAT is half the battle.
As her mom, I stop at nothing to ensure that she has the skills she needs to be a successful and independent learner. Even if it means more of my tears, time, patience and love. It may even require an occasional glass, or five, of wine, to deal with the aftermath of her tears.
Regardless, being a mom-not easy.
Duh.
But the picture in my head is of a child who loves school despite her weaknesses and is confident enough in her abilities to face and conquer her struggles.
The reality is she DOES love school, WANTS to do well and WORKS hard to overcome her learning obstacles. She is strong, courageous and a great student. All the things that make a person successful.
Those are the life lessons I have provided my children. Those tell the bigger story.
One proud mom + three children+ determination=success.
Call me crazy all you like.