A Year Ago Today

It was one year ago. Today. I cannot believe how fast the time has gone. A whole year. The fact that I can only see her in pictures, or revisit the memories we made. I haven't even been back to her house since she was ill. I can't do it. I cannot being myself to go there and remember. To remember the last time we all sat around her big table, eating our last "big" meal with her, surrounded by both local and long-distance family who had come to say goodbye. To celebrate.
Her family.
That meal-so lively and full of love, yet bittersweet, because there was to be only one ending. It was a celebration of family, of life and love because all those who loved her had come to say goodbye.
But there has been happiness this past year. Of knowing that she is no longer unhappy, ill or suffering. That she is at peace because she is now with the one she loved.
My grandmother.
Today, marks a year since she passed.
And I miss her. My children miss her. Our memories everyday drift back to a dish she made or something she said. Granted it was in Italian, but we remember.
Even going to the local pizza restaurant elicits so many memories because the owners are from Sicily. When I go in there to pick up our pizza, I hear the them speaking and I think of her. And I remember.
I am sad she is gone, but I know that she is happy to finally be with my grandfather. She went willingly, surrounded by the people who loved her.
For that, I am grateful.
But I still miss her.