A Not So Quiet Weekend

I had great plans for a quiet, turkey and Oreo pie eating, Christmas tree decorating, uneventful, family fun filled weekend.
Instead, I had and continue to have, three sick kids-two fighting a fever,one without, all coughing up lungs and airborne germs galore.
I know you so want to be me.
Oh, and school on Monday?
FAIL.
Worse yet-my arsenal? It is in great need of replenishment. I mean really, Clorox needs to make a family size/200 count box of wipes so I can combat my little germy monsters and their freakish inhabitants.
I also would like to see Tylenol Cold in I.V. form. Because really, it is way easier to hook an I.V. to my children then follow them around with a spoon and a grape flavored fever reducer, pain goer awayer and cough suppressing liquid that inevitably ends up down the front of their p.j.'s or on their feet as they move away from the spoon because it is so yucky and they are so ornery.
Yep.
I am thinking Haz Mat. Do they make Haz Mat suits in plus sizes? And most importantly, can I get it at the 24 hour Walmart by my house? Because really, the plastic wrap I have wrapped myself in is not very giving.
And there are no pockets.
I need pockets.
With no pockets I am forced to carry, in my hands, my germ fighting paraphernalia. This has left me exposed and susceptible. That's right. Susceptible. To the airborne germies of my offspring looking for a new host.
Sigh.
It truly sucks.
And Murphy? He is seriously having a good laugh about now. Because what could be funnier than having the kids home for an even more extended weekend, whiny, fever-ridden, coughing and full of snot?
Yep, go ahead Murphy, laugh.
Have you met my friend Payback?
She is not nice.
And her friend Sybil and her 27 sisters? Not a force to be reckoned with I say.
Soooo...be alert and be ready Murphy.
I'm watching you.