Mom Defies Magentic Pull

For the first time in, well, I really don't remember how long, I went to a friend's house to scrapbook. It was so much fun! Okay, so what did I accomplish? Uhhh...nothing. I couldn't make sense of my sticky notes or remember what I wanted to do with this Christmas Traditions book I was making. Hmmm...wonder why that is....maybe because I wrote those sticky notes a year and a half ago? Ya think?
Yeah.
And the best part of my mommy night out? I didn't have any mommy guilt for the first time in like, forever. OK, maybe not forever, say like the last 12.5 years. Why? Because the rugrats were with the grandparentals and Mike was home hanging with the furballs, and I my friends, was FREE!!!!!!! The stars all aligned with the planets and I, was able to do something for me. Coincidences just don't happen like that too often. I'm just sayin'.
But I just gotta say, it was so much fun.
Even if at first, I was reluctant to go.
I guess I should give you some history, but first, I really have to tell you my secret. Sigh. I don't tell this secret to many people, because well, it disturbs me. But, since I am blogging about me I feel I should own up to it.
OK-I have a weirdo magnet. Well, I don't really have a weirdo magnet, but I am a weirdo magnet. I just attract them. I don't know why, really. Must be because I am really friendly and have no problems striking up a conversation with pretty much anyone. I have been this way...forever. I am a social chair.
In retrospect, I've decided this could actually be my problem.
See, once Mini Me arrived on scene, I was completely and totally overwhelmed by a one year old, a six year old and a newborn. Mike and I shared a car, which he needed for work, so I was stuck at home with 2 babies and the six year old was in school.
Which would not have been too bad if Mini Me had been willing to ever leave my arms. Really. Even for a minute.
Right.
Confined to the house, with one constantly screaming vampire-like child, and Panda, I totally craved adult conversation. Clearly, I hadn't discovered the Internet yet.
So, when I could, I chatted with my mommy friends, but Mini Me made that kind of challenging as well. Truth be told, I would count the seconds until Mike came home and once the car was in the driveway, I was ready to make my escape. I would hop in the car, and just drive, without the kids to get my head back on. It was the only thing that kept me from going over the edge during those very isolated and sanity trying times. Yep, I can admit this now.
The funny thing was, Panda and Mini Me are only 11 months and 3 weeks apart, so wherever we went, people thought they were twins. And since Mini Me was usually screaming or causing a situation, strangers felt obliged to engage me in conversations. Sometimes, they were nice. Most times they had some piece of advice or criticism to offer-whatever popped into their crazy little heads with no thought to my feelings. So, I became a homebody. It was less stressful.
It was during this time, that I realized my ability to attract the not-so-stable. Hence, my weirdo magnet. And the thing this, I can't turn it off. I try, and boy do I try. I have not been successful yet.
I try not to venture too far out, so I don't activate the weirdo magnet. My thought is that I don't really need new friends, especially if the price of acquiring new friends means I must weed through the not-so-stable people. I just cannot deal with that.
Photochick always laugh when we are out, because inevitably, the weirdo magnet activates and I get accosted. Does she rescue me? The answer is uhhh...no. She will usually just roll her eyes at me and run to the other side of the store. The eye rolling is code for "your weirdo light is blinking, turn it off."
Apparently, I am immune to the light. Obviously, this is the case as I never see it blinking to either turn it off or cover it up. Photochick will usually snicker "turn it off" in my ear and on occasion, walk away, leaving me to deal with the weirdo. She has even gone so far as to call me on my phone to see if the offending person has left. She is a true friend, let me tell ya.
But I digress.
So, last night, I was a little apprehensive. Except, I knew two of the moms from volunteering at the school and they seemed pretty normal-well, as normal as any mom, with kids, who volunteers and lives a totally chaotic life can be. So, I threw caution to the wind, stepped out of my comfort zone and went. And I had so much fun.
Did I mention that?
I had forgotten how nice it was to meet new people and chat about the kids, school and my hobbies, that I don't actually ever get to do because I am always dealing with people under 3.5 feet tall, working, pretending to clean the house or blogging. Hobbies-who has time for that!
And, last night, I even got to pseudo scrapbook. Kinda. Well, I found some new really great tools and equipment that I have just gotta have-like the Pazzle and I have been wanting that Zutter binding machine for about a year now. Sigh. Need way more money to support this scrapbooking habit.
Plus, I got to check out the other mommy's scrapbook layouts and now, I've got ideas!!! See, it so does not take much to excite me.
My BFF Sally, who is my partner in scrapbooking crime, is trying to convince me to go to the Rubber Stamp and Scrapbook Expo on Sunday, and even though I am on spending restriction, I may go with her to check it out. To get more ideas of course. And to drool over the new products and pretty paper.
Plus all my favorite stamping and scrapbook vendors will be there and sooooo....how is a girl supposed to say no? The kids will hang with her kids, my hubby can do what he wants and I get to go someplace with my friend somewhat kid free and enjoy some girlfriend time. So, not sure if I drank something funny on Thursday, but this weekend is shaping up to be friend filled-just the distraction I need.
Welcome back life-the kids are growing up and I get some time to myself. And I am so liking it. Just so you know.

To Volunteer Or Not?

Yesterday, Panda and Mini Me had spring pictures and I went into the school to help out. Picture day is usually pretty cool because there is constant motion-all the kids coming and going. Plus, I get to socialize with some of the teachers I have become friendly with over the last eight years and hang out/meet other moms. As an extra bonus, I get a set of pictures for free. It's a win-win for everybody.
Except yesterday, I just wasn't feeling it. I totally did not want to go. Might have something to do with hanging out Wednesday morning with my BFF Sally, whose daughters (even though they go to a different school), had a slight hair problem. Rhymes with rice. Yeah. Being the paranoid freakazoid that I am, I did not want to go to school and catch any creepy crawlies. And 'tis the season, unfortunately. Panda and Mini Me are sprayed down each day, so I wasn't concerned about them. Just me. So, before I went to school, I was going to put my hair in a ponytail, but then I changed my mind. So I left my hair down and sprayed it down really good. I also put mousse in my hair. And I refrained from getting to close to or touching anyone's hair. I am real anal like that.
So, while I was volunteering, I discovered that my natural tendency to avoid anything PTA or school oriented was correct. It is riddled with too much gossip, drama and back-stabbing. I can't handle it. Not that I can't handle it, I don't get it. We should all be working for the common good-the children. Right? It is not supposed to be about personal agendas or being a martyr. Remember? It is supposed to be about being there for our children.
Yeppers. What a pipe dream.
So, now I have to tell you a secret. Some people have totally forgotten this. Just so you know. I fail to understand how gossiping and complaining about one another is productive to the school experience of our children. Exactly. It's not. The minute I enter the door to the school, my eyes start rolling back in my head. I guess it is just the anticipation of the drama and honestly, I just can't deal. This is why I am so hesitant to volunteer.
Youth sports also suffers from the same drama and back-stabbing as PTA. All those crazy-ass parents trying to live vicariously through their kids. People forget the real reason they are involved with soccer. The kids.
Last weekend, Panda's team and another team had issues with videotaping one another's players and well, let's just say it wasn't pretty. I think it is ridiculous! The children are 8 and under. This is not the pros people. The kids are seriously not going to watch the tapes and analyze the other teams' plays. Dream on. They want to play, get their snack and go play with their teammates on the playground. And they harbor no malice towards the other team. It's the parents-they make things more difficult than they need to be.
At last week's game this same team cheated and players n both teams, received a lesson in poor sportsmanship. I really hesitate to call it cheating, but there is no other word for it. Coaches know the rules and goalies can only play two quarters per game. Pretty black and white to me. The other team allowed their goalie to play three quarters and frankly, the game should have been disqualified. In addition, the coach lined his players up, during a penalty shot at his goal, and actually called a timeout and strategically placed each player. Now, the refs do this in the under 6 category because the kids are learning the fundamentals. At age 8, this is not supposed to occur. If the team had played fairly, and we had lost, it would not be an issue. Kids cannot win every game and must learn how to deal with losing and sportsmanship. Since the rules were broken, as a parent, I felt that the wrong message was sent to the kids-it's okay if you cheat. Cheating allows the team to win. So, forget about rules and regulations and about values and beliefs and teach your kid to break the rules. Because it is all about them. Yeah.
Also, during the game, one of the coaches from the other team was yelling at his players to "hit 'em hard." Meaning to hit the other team's players to get them out of their way or away from the ball. That completely infuriated me. Sorry, when a parent takes on the responsibility to coach a youth sports team, it is not acceptable to teach them to hurt one another. The parent is supposed to set an example and teach the players the rules and field etiquette. They also must teach sportsmanship-particularly winning and losing. The kids need to know when you play by the rules you win and sometimes you lose. Fact of life, in my opinion.
To top it off, the parents from the other team lacked self control. Enthusiasm is great, but insanity is not. Some of these parents were screaming and so out of control, they were scaring the kids. They seriously needed some Valium. I wish I could say I was exaggerating. Unfortunately, I'm not. They were literally jumping into the game and helping the kids with penalty shots. Which by the way, they are not allowed to do. Just so you know. It is insane, in my humble opinion, to act like a jack-ass on the field and on the sidelines. Again, it sends the wrong message.
This is why I refrain from joining organized sports programs and PTA stuff. It is not conducive to the kids or my patience. And frankly, since it is kid-oriented, it is supposed to be about the kids. Imagine that.
I do believe that parents who forget this truly need a smack-down of some sort. I try not to get involved, but when parental back-biting and drama affects my children, I step up and make myself known. It does not make me popular. But, my interests are true-there is no other agenda but to give the kids a positive experience and let them have fun.
Not all parents are this antagonistic. But it is the few who cause the rational ones, like myself, to not get involved. So, if I had a magic wand, I would wave it at the parents so only positive ideas and actions would be released. Peaceful interaction. So we can all just get along and enjoy our time with our children. What a novel idea.

Consumers Drive Competition

In today's world, it is hard to find companies that are willing to go the extra mile for their customers. They don't necessarily respect the power of the consumer.
Recently, I did some work as an independent contractor for Proflowers and as a consumer, I think their customer satisfaction model is dead on. It is about the customer having a great experience with their product and coming back with repeat business. As an agent, assisting with the Valentine's Day call volume, I was impressed with how the company went above and beyond to guarantee the satisfaction of their customers. It made me feel great to be able to fix a wrong and help that customer not only get the product they wanted, but give them a positive experience so they would come back and tell their friends how even though Proflowers may have initially dropped the ball with their service, they fixed it. To me, as a consumer, that is what makes me a repeat customer. The fact that they, as a company, can accept responsibility for their mistakes, apologize, fix it and make me, the customer, happy, means the next time I order flowers, I would be willing to give them another chance. They fix their wrongs and they own up.
Accountability and customer satisfaction are key to standing out among competitors. Proflowers did this time and time again. They acknowledged their mistakes, offered to fix it and was able to maintain customers. Personally, I had many customers who were actually at fault for the issues that occurred, however, Proflowers, looking at the bigger picture, the repeat business, did what they could to ensure a positive customer experience. They fixed the problem, their product was delivered and the customer was happy. And they sent a powerful message to their customers-we value your business and we want to make it right.
This focus on the consumer is paramount to success in today's competitive market. It is what defines a company and gives them purpose. Because ultimately, without their customers, there is no outlet for their products. With the Internet, consumers can go anywhere to get their needs met. How does your company stand out? How do you impact your customers and enhance their buying experience? These are key factors for me when I make my purchases. If your answers do not end with the consumer, it is time to re-evaluate your plan.
I use AT&T for my cell phone service. I have only been a customer for five months. Each time I call them with a complaint, they fix it. They apologize, they right the issue and I, as the consumer, am happy. I remain a customer because they are listening to me, Christine, the mom who needs her cellphone to keep in contact with her family. Why? Because if I tell one mom what crappy service I received and she tells another mom and on and on...we create a situation where people network and effectively, make or break a company. That is how it should be. Value the customer, meet their needs and they will reward you with their business.
Companies need to be listening to the consumer and learning from their mistakes. It is about giving the consumer control over your product to create an even better product. In What Would Google Do?, author Jeff Jarvis discusses the need for companies to give up control of their products and make them free to create bigger and more efficient platforms like Google, Facebook and the like. Taking it a step further, I see providing a high level of service to consumers as the means to increase profits and product loyalty. Having been in the customer service field for over 12 years, it is refreshing to find someone who understands the need to look outside the box and recognize that the consumers are the end all, be all to a company's success. They drive the competition.
As a customer service representative and as a consumer, I recognize that it is about totally satisfying your customer so they come back. Happy customers=repeat business=quality products. This principle can be applied to any product, because the consumer must buy or use that product for it to be successful. It's how money is made.
As a consumer, my time and my money are precious to me. I don't want to waste either on a company that does not value those same ideals. For instance, I hate going to Target and Wal-Mart, seeing a line of 6 people, and no registers opening up. That tells me those companies do not respect me or my buying power. They are not interested in making my shopping experience hassle free so I want to come back and spend my money there. They are telling me, they cannot meet the needs of the customer and to start looking elsewhere for my products. In essence, to find a company that puts value on my time and money.
Sam's attempts to do this by having personnel "work" the lines if you will, scan your card and your purchases, so that your time in line is not completely wasted. So when you do finally get to the register, the transaction is quick and somewhat painless. Not so time-efficient, but they are on the right track.
Honestly, I am not targeting Wal-Mart, Target or Sam's specifically-I am just trying to prove a point. The bigger companies forget that little things, such as waiting in line or poor service at the customer service desk, really do impact their business. Their focus needs to be reinvented around consumers. Make the customer your friend, not your enemy and you will see loyalty and profits. They go hand in hand.
We are the reason there is a company. Consumers. We dictate what products you sell, how much you sell them for and how we like to be treated. Don't forget that. We, the consumer, have the power to walk away from your company and find another that will give us exactly what we want. Proflowers knows this. They respect and value their customers. It is why, the next time I order flowers, I will go with the company that believes in total customer satisfaction.
Embrace the customer, respect the customer and your company will thrive.

What Would Mommy Do?

Lately, I have been reading the book What Would Google Do? by Jeff Jarvis and although very interesting and timely for this particular time of my life, I found my mind wandering. I have so many things and ideas that I want to explore and the book really gave me lots to ponder. But, frustrated by the lack of time to pursue these other interests and amused by his title, I came up with a new spin on Jarvis' book. I know, I must be crazy. Whatever.
I'm calling it "What Would Mommy Do?" Ha! My imagination runs wild with the thinks I can think! Read on and you will get an idea of where my head is at today. LOL!!

What Would Mommy Do...


1. if she had a clean house?
Answer: Nothing. At first. And if she was not the one who had to clean it, she would leave her crap ALL over the house for someone else to pickup and then sit on the couch and watch someone else pick up the mess. Ahem....just like her family.

2. if she slept more than four consecutive hours?
Answer: Don't know. It hasn't happened in so long, that I have no recollection of what I used to feel like when I slept without being disturbed. Hmmm...note to self, may want to try that someday soon.

3. if she was not needed to wipe people's butts?
Answer: Use fewer butt wipes? Have more anti-bacterial soap in the house? The jury is out on this one.

4. if she was able to have a telephone conversation without being interrupted?
Answer: Start looking for dead bodies. That would be the only way she would be able to talk to her friends, uninterrupted.

5. if did not have to nag her peeps to do uhhh...everything?
Answer: Spend time marveling at their ability to be proactive and complete tasks without being told to. Beeepp. Wrong answer. Living in fantasy world. Will never, ever happen.

6. if she was able to make a meal that everyone ate?
Answer: Die from the shock of it.

7. if the laundry fairy came and folded her laundry?
Answer: Buy the fairy a super-duper expensive wand and bake her some fairy dust cookies.

8. if she had time to complete a scrapbook page with supplies she had purchased for HER hobby?
Answer: If she could find the supplies that her children have pilfered for their art projects, she would actually get to finish their First Year of Life albums. Since a cold day in hell would have to occur before that happened, they are going to be responsible for creating their own first year of life books whether they remember that year or not. See what happens when you mess with my things?!

9. if she had time to read a book, in its entirety, that consisted of words with more than 2 syllables?
Answer: Not sure, still working on that one. Maybe be more edumacated? Not holding out too much hope for that one.

10. if she had clothes that were a)in style, b)fit properly, and 3)stain free?
Answer: Be able to go out in public and not look like the house frau she is. And be able to attend a class. outside of her home, that would teach her how to edit/proofread her work.

11. if she was able to have a complete thought?
Answer: Not sure. Hasn't happened yet. I'll get back to you on that one.

12. if she had control over the TV for one week?
Answer: Can't say. Haven't watched that much TV in six years. Coincidentally, since Mini Me came into the world.

13. if her shoes were not the ones that Chewy perpetually peed on?
Answer: Not have to purchase $5 pseudo Keds from Wal-Mart every other week. And be more in style.

14. if she did not have to give lecture #6,492 each time she goes into the store with Monkeyboy, Mini Me and Panda?
Answer: Incidentally, that is the use your eyes not your hands lecture, followed by the we are not buying anything except for what's on our list speech. Ummm...stumped on that one. Been giving that lecture for 12.5 years now. It just rolls off my tongue, the minute we enter any store parking lot. I would be lost if I didn't have to give that speech.

15. if she did not receive her daily dose of love and kisses from Panda, Mini Me and yes, even the Monkeyboy?
Answer: Cry. I love my monkeys even if they do put me over the edge!:)

So, what would YOU do? Go ahead, add to my list. I dare ya.

Hopey Change

With all the focus on the economy and job market, it seems that Americans have strayed from the most fundamental of things-a value system. It is why, in my opinion, our country is in the situation that it is in. Our country is holding out for hope and change and believes it can only be achieved through one person. Well, I am here to say, wake the hell up! It is really sad that people have allowed one man to brainwash them into believing that he alone can change the economy and make the United States a better place.
It is so wrong.
What is even scarier, is that people actually believe it! Their 3D glasses must be superglued to their faces.
Many Americans do not see the bigger picture. The true picture. It is about government controlling every aspect of our lives. It is about putting our value system on hold and adopting principles that have already negatively impacted the American way of life. It is about government dependency. Of democracy and capitalism being exchanged for socialism. I don't want that. Most Americans don't want that either. If they don't wake up, it will be too late.
So, wake the hell up sheeple!
Start thinking for yourself and look outside the box. Take a look at the bigger picture that is being painted and start weeding out all the BS. Because, let me tell you, there is way too much BS. And America is getting bent over!
As a collective group, Americans have allowed their value system to be cast aside for greed, power and selfishness. It is sad. Our kids are learning that it is OK to bully others to get what they want, to be entitled to what others have just because and that power is the end all, be all. They know nothing about honesty, courage, hard work, love, friendship, gratitude and most importantly, personal responsibility. It's barely taught in school and clearly, not in many homes. What will the future be like for my kids and your kids? How will they know the difference between right and wrong when there is no line drawn?
Recently, while listening to Glenn Beck, I heard him talking about a call for people to stand up and commit to living their lives by twelve basic principles. Funny, that I should hear this,while contemplating my own value system and knowing that a change is needed across the board. I took this as a sign that maybe, I was on the right track. Maybe, I had found my answer on how I can enact change, while still being an example to my children.
This loss of a value and belief system is why our country is facing some of the biggest trials in its history. For me, this is very scary. The uncertainty of our democracy, of our freedom and our way of life as we know it, is clearly hanging by a thread.
This is not Obama's fault. Trust me. It actually has nothing to do with him, George W. Bush, George H.W, Bush, Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter or Ronald Regan. It has to do with people. The American people. It is because we have allowed greed, corruption and selfishness to enter our homes and our lives. We want a quick fix, which is indicative of our society, with no work and no responsibility for the consequences. How is that possible? It's not. We have to change. Not our freedoms or our politicians, but how we live our lives. It is so simple, yet, we are still in this predicament.
I am far from innocent in this as well. I have made many mistakes along those same lines. I can recognize those mistakes, own them and make them right. By changing. I am not preaching something I am not willing to do myself. That is not how I roll.
My issue is with how we can begin to enact change right here at home, in our families and our community. Change that really means something. Change that will actually impact our lives and the lives of others. Positively. Change that will bring hope. This is my answer to resolving our issues.
First, we have to recognize our mistakes, own them, fix them and create a value system that reflects our beliefs. Then, we have to enact these changes within our families. This will be how Americans start to bring changes to the forefront of our country.
It is so simple, yet so incredibly daunting. Because it involves looking at ourselves from the inside out. It is not pretty. And it's difficult to accept that we may have really screwed some things in our lives up through our choices. It's okay. If Americans can own up to their mistakes, they can be fixed. The real problem is when we pretend it did not happen. Or we make excuses. Acceptance and ownership of our mistakes is key to change. We have to clear the slate and evaluate what we did wrong, what we learned and how we can prevent those same mistakes from happening. It's simple really. It requires humility, honesty, reverence, sincerity and most importantly, personal responsibility. It is a desire to make a change that is good and true in how we live our lives.
So, Americans as a whole need to stop looking for the answer from Obama and our elected officials. They are not going to give us anything. They want to give it to themselves and other countries, when in reality, they should be focusing on their own house. House USA. Sorry to be the one that bursts your bubble. But hey, I tell it like it is.
Truth be told, I don't give a rat's ass about other countries needing our money for birth control, medical supplies or food. I am not an insensitive or inhumane person. I am realistic. Let's fix our home first, before we help our neighbors. We have to be solvent before we can offer donations. Know what I mean?
Americans, as a collective whole, must get off their asses and make the changes. They must re-evaluate their belief and value systems. They have to think for themselves about doing the right thing. Not the easiest thing, but the right thing. Or it will come around and bite them in the ass. It already has.
Wake up sheeple!
Once those changes are made, American "houses" will be in order. Then will come her communities. Gather as neighbors and bring accountability, honesty and integrity back into our communities. Make them right. Change the laws to reward the good and not the bad. This takes courage, hard work, and a vision. A vision of a united America, with her people living the American dream and raising the bar. It's quality over quantity. If we as a nation, do the right things, the domino effect will occur. It will spread from community to community, city to city and state to state. If we, as a people, as Americans, stand up to greed, wasteful spending and corruption, we can right the wrong. It is possible. Obama is not going to do it for us. Neither are our elected officials. It is about us. We the people. Americans have to want their freedoms and their independence. It is a choice and everything has a price. We all have a choice. And nothing is free, especially not freedom.

Kids, The Furballs And Kibble In My Bed

Life with three kids is pretty hectic and I never imagined when we added the furballs to the mix, it was going to border on insane. Our furballs think they are two-leggers and act just like the children-meaning they tattle, whine and cry. I am not sure if our animals are bat shit crazy or if this is normal.
Seriously.
Lately, they have been acting really weird. All four of them have been clingy, ornery and needy. Frankly, they are driving me crazy. I am getting closer to the crazy farm everyday.
First off, they tattle. And they whine. Smokey is our resident tattler. He is also the FoodMaster. As the FoodMaster, Smokey ensures that his and Fatboy's food bowls are full. And to accomplish this task, he must utilize his whiny meowing skills.
Basically, he zeros in on his target, me, and shows no mercy.
Really. I wish I was kidding.
If Monkeyboy has slacked off and not fed him by about 6:30 am, I am immediately alerted. This means that Smokey climbs on my head, meowing loudly and persistently, while digging at my hair. This continues until I wake up and either feed his whiny self, or make Monkeyboy get up and feed him. Smokey is pretty serious about this wake-up call stuff. Once he hears me yell for Monkeyboy, he will hop down from the bed and wait for him. And yes, he actually waits in the hallway for Monkeyboy to roll out of bed and make his way into the kitchen. If he does not do this in a timely manner, Smokey comes back and meows at me until Monkeyboy actually gets out of the bed. Once the Monkeyboy passes Smokey in the hallway, that crazy cat follows behind him to make sure that his food bowl is being filled. The whole time he is meowing at Monkeyboy, cursing him out in cat.
Do you see a little bit of a type A personality thing going on here? Or is he just psycho?
Inquiring minds want to know.
In addition to tattling, our animals are antagonistic. Fatboy is the master of this game. He loves to mess with Chewy. I think it is because of his transgender issues. See, he used to be Princess, until we came home from a Disney trip and discovered he was really a Prince. We couldn't remember not to call him Princess and didn't want to give him a complex, so we changed his name to Fatboy.
But I digress.
Fatboy gets off on scaring the heck out of Chewy. He pulls this sneak attack thing where he comes up from behind, hisses this loud and vicious hiss, and scares the piss out of Chewy. Literally. Chewy will leave his puddle and run crying and whining into the kids room and hide in the far corner under the bed. I swear Fatboy actually laughs while he's doing this. Actually, he just sits there, staring under the bed at Chewy, calmly cleaning himself. Yeah. He is definitely like those mob goons. Meanwhile, Chewy, being the weenie that he is, stays in the corner shaking and crying until either Mike or I rescue him.
Drama, I tell ya.
Tinkerbell is also pretty antagonistic and her favorite prey is also Chewy. She is so mean to him, but it is funny. He likes to sleep with the kids and so does Tink. If she is feeling especially ornery, she will push him and nuzzle him closer and closer to the edge of the bed, until he falls flat on his face. She's really sweet like that. Chewy is such a whiner and cannot figure out how to get back on the bed, that he will sit on the floor and whine and cry until someone picks him up and puts him on the bed. The whole time, Tink will be licking her paws with this I-am-just-sitting-here-and-have-no-idea-why-that-mutt-is-on-the-floor-crying-and-whining look.
Yeah. She's a piece a work.
But I gotta tell ya, the funniest part is when Panda or Mini Me take pity on the Chewster, pick him up and put him on the bed and then she leaves. In a huff. Like, how dare they. Then she tries to suck up by leaving kibble on my pillow. I am not sure if this is a peace offering or if she is saving it for later. Either way, it grosses me out. And it doesn't impress me. She's Mike's dog and since she sleeps on his head and his pillow, she can leave her kibble with him.
I no can't want it.
The most annoying and childlike of the four furballs, is Chewy. He is Mr.Whinypants. We should have seriously named him that. He is such a fraidy pants and easily spooked. Each night, once Fatboy gives him the smackdown, he roams the house looking for places to piddle and stuff to chew. Every night, he walks by the sliding glass door and catches his reflection and starts growling thinking there is another dog trying to move in on his turf. Then, he starts barking and doesn't stop until I get up and dump his whiny self in bed with Mike and I. Inevitably, as he gets comfortable on my bed, he will catch his reflection in the mirror on my dresser, and the incessant barking resumes. It is usually about this time that I am seriously contemplating shooting myself.
And as all this is happening, do you think I get any help from Mike? Nooooooo....he just covers his head with his pillow, rolls over and reminds me that I wanted this damn dog. And that he is my baby.
Yeppers.
So, I get punished for falling in love with the cute-i-fier! How fair is that, I say?
Not very.
And really, all I wanna do is sleep.
So basically, my animals are rabble rousers. And I love them. But, they are trying me, just like the kids do. And I don't appreciate it one bit.
Oh, and for the record, I would like some normal, non-antagonistic, quiet animals, that do not act like little people. Just so you know.

True Colors

Recently, I discovered I was not normal. Yeah, imagine that. Me, not normal. You can call that therapist now.
Seriously. My husband tells me that I am not a normal female and that I am more like a guy. Thanks hon, appreciate it.
I understand what he means. I am not a typical whiny, bitch. Yep, there you go. I said it. And by the way, I am also not manipulating or a game player and I have zero tolerance for BS. Just so you know.
I have had this problem all my life. It doesn't really bother me. I just don't understand the petty crap girls perpetuate. I mean, I understand it, I recognize it when it is going down, but I don't really get the need for it. Know what I mean?
Growing up, my friends were always male. They were easier for me to understand. Most guys are pretty black and white. They tell it like it is and there are no hard feelings. They say what they gotta say and move on. That's me.
I am not a tomboy. I hate nature. Meaning bugs, camping and hiking stuff. Does nothing for me. Give me a hotel, with a bed and a working toilet and we are good. Just no creepy crawlies. I don't do sports either. They are fine to watch, but I have never been a sports kinda girl. Love to go to games, love checking out the guys playing the games and all, but I just don't like to play them. Not my thing.
Oh, and by the way, I'm not a cheerleader type either. I am a whoot, whoot girl. I like to have fun.
I guess that says something about my personality. I am not a game player. I don't pretend and I do not know how to be fake. It is just not in me. It's not who I am. This causes me some troubles from time to time, when I must interact with people who like to play mind games. I have zero tolerance for that nonsense. If you try to psycho babble me, it's pretty much over.
Either you like me or you don't. I don't really care. I'm a pretty outgoing person and make friends wherever I go. I also have many female acquaintances and a few close female friends. But start that psycho girl crap and I lose it. I know when I am being played. And because I am not an aggressive person by nature, I will walk away. At first. Usually it's just not worth it. Continue or mess with my family, and I will bring out the claws. Just so you know. I'm funny like that.
So, contemplating this the other day, I decided that I like myself this way. I am comfortable with who I am. If you know me, you always know where I stand. If we have a problem, I'll tell you. And my friends, who are normal, do this as well. That is why I am still friends with those people. It is called truth. And so I decided that I liked surrounding myself with people who are real. I have distanced myself from the people who are toxic.
And by the way, I also have no patience for delusional people as well. Like I said earlier, I am pretty straightforward. I am also honest and fiercely loyal. My loyalty remains until I get messed with. Once the line is crossed, all bets are off. Friends, family-it doesn't really matter. I always give the benefit of the doubt, until it is abused. Then, those people become non-people to me. I am polite and courteous, in a social setting, but it pretty much stops there. It is about staying true to who I am.
I am a "girl" in all the female ways except the game playing. It is not real. I choose not to allow that to enter into my life. Truth and honesty are core beliefs for me. Friendship is too. All the other stuff, is just unimportant to my life. I don't allow others to take advantage of me and frankly, if they don't meet my criteria, they remain non-people.
Again, maybe this is a downfall because I expect 100% from people. It's what I give out. I expect it in return. If not, I deem you not worthy and I walk away. I used to apologize for this. I don't anymore. I have to be an example for Panda. She has to know how to stand up for herself. She must be strong. And true to herself.
As a girl, she has to know that games are to be played on the field, not in life. By leading by example, I hope I am giving her the tools to recognize the posers and shut them out. Hopefully, she will surround herself with strong, honest and true people who will love and appreciate her for who she is. It is what I have done.
And just so you know, the women I surround myself with, whether family or friends, are all that and more. I love those guys. If they need me, I'm there. No matter what. That's the kind of friendship, truth and loyalty I wish for my daughter. The real kind.

The Eternal Slumber Party

With all the chaos that has been my life lately, time is just lightspeeding by. I wish I could just hit a pause button and stop my head from spinning.
Yeppers. That would be good.
If only I could find the remote.
Must be under the mountain o' laundry still sitting on my couch.
Sigh. Just another day.
So, yesterday was Valentine's Day, and to be honest, I just wasn't feeling it this year. I'm in a rut, I guess. The stress of everything is pretty much driving me crazy. After work last night, I sat with Mike and the kids on the couch, to watch Madagascar 2 and I fell asleep.
Story of my life, I know.
But before I passed out cold on the couch, my great husband made dinner for us. It took some prodding from Panda and I, but he came through for us. We utilized our girl power and messed with him a bit. It was nice.
In true Mini Me form, I was showered with hugs upon hugs. Then the little man grabbed his comforter from his bed and tried to wedge his little body between Panda and I on the couch.
He just wanted to be near me. He is such a suckup like that. And just like his daddy. But, I love him. And his daddy, too. Sometimes. When he is not pissing me off. Which was not last night, by the way.
But even though he made dinner and he didn't piss me off, he didn't get lucky. In case you were wondering. I was asleep, remember?
But I digress.
Panda was all snugly too and we were pretty giggly on the couch because the movie was kinda funny. If you like kid movies with a talking lion, zebra, hippo and giraffe. Oh, and the lion dances too. Like an Egyptian. Really. He does this cool dance and it is pretty kid-funny. Panda and I like the "I Like To Move It" song. And until I started watching the inside of my eyelids, the parts of the movie I did see, I actually liked.
Monkeyboy also watched the movie with us, but couldn't fit on the couch. Wasn't enough room for all five of us, Chewy, Tinkerbell, Fatboy and Smokey. So, he sat on the floor in front of us. With the feline furballs. He could have sat on the other couch, but it is still occupied by the mountain o' laundry. Regardless, it worked. And in true tween fashion, Monkeyboy was like "Happy Valentine's Day, Mom. Love ya."
I'll take it.
We all hung out on the couch, watched a movie and it was all good.
So, while sitting on the couch and still feeling a little bummed, I also felt the love of my family. They are pretty awesome. Sometimes, when I am caught up in all the chaos and stress, I forget that.
Mike and the kids, they ground me.
Without them, I would be lost.
This life with them, sometimes so consuming, is filled with lots of laughter, love and good times. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
As I told Mike sixteen years ago, it is and continues to be, the eternal slumber party.

The Mother Load

I am contemplating starting a big bonfire in my yard and disposing of everything in my house. Seriously. If I toss the laundry, the dishes from the sink, the toys and all the crap we own, in the yard and ignite it, I can start from scratch. It would be like having a new house. Only the people and the furballs would be the same. And all our crap would be gone. Then I could paint, remodel and "fix things" without having to do a whole lot of moving stuff around. We might actually get things done because there would be no distractions.
Yeah. That's my fantasy.
Right now, in the reality that is my life, I am procrastinating. I should be folding my mountain o' laundry. It's not happening yet. I'm just not feeling it.
Actually, I am dreading it. It's four hours of continuous folding and I just don't want to do it. I no can't want it, as Panda says.
Over the years, I have tried many different approaches to my laundry saga. I have tried the daily approach, the weekly approach and now, the just let it sit there approach. None of them are as successful as I had been hoping for. They work, but not for very long. Usually for about two weeks, and then something or other will happen, I get behind and I am back to the exact same place as I am now in my laundry drama. With the mountain o' laundry sitting on the couch. Laundry, my friends, is a never-ending cycle (no pun intended).
And it is truly a thankless task.
I guess it is my attitude.
I hate laundry. Just as I am folding that last piece of laundry and I am overcome with relief that the job is done, more clothes will be sitting in the laundry basket waiting to be cleaned. It's so annoying.
In my opinion, the washing machine is one of the best technological inventions of all time. If I had to spend my whole day actually washing the clothes by hand, I think I might have to shoot myself. Really. Pioneer woman I am not.
In our home, I am the official laundry slave. Everyone else is a bunch of slackers. They root through their drawers for clothes (when they are actually in their drawers and not on the couch), the clothes fall out and land on the floor. Instead of picking them up and putting them away, my children and my husband, leave the clothes on the floor, step on it and then after much cajoling and the appearance of Sybil or one of her 27 sisters, they finally pick up the laundry and put it into the laundry basket. To be rewashed with the actual dirty clothes, of course.
Do you see the pattern here? I know, I have to train my peeps. But, I really can't believe that I have to train them for every little thing. It was so not in my contract!
So, that is my dilemma this evening folks.
To fold or not to fold.
I am thinking I might need to think on it a bit longer. Like maybe until tomorrow.
Oh, and by the way, I took a picture of my mountain o' laundry. And if you can come up with some creative ideas that I can use to defeat that mountain, I'll post the picture. Maybe. But you gotta make it worth my while.
And for my own sanity, is there anyone out there in the land of the Facebook dwellers, that can relate to my pile o' laundry? I am totally serious. Please tell me (even if it is a lie-I'm willing to be delusional for another day or so), that I am not the only one in this world that leaves the laundry on the couch. Please.
If that's not the case, then just humor me, OK?

Frugal Mom Finds Love At Walmart

I am a little weary of this economy thing this week. Actually, I think I can honestly say that I am really freakin' tired of pinching my pennies. Tonight, I had to grocery shop on $100, for two weeks, and feed a family of five. I just don't know how these families of 8, 9 and 10 people do it! The other day, I was on the Mommysavers board, lurking like I sometimes do, and there was a post where a mom feeds her family of five for something like $287 a month. I wasn't able to find it again so I could post it. But wow!! Can I tell you how much respect I have for her? Tonight, I agonized over ever little purchase and I must say, I am mentally drained.
I planned my meals, inventoried the contents of my freezers and pantry and comparison shopped for all the things I needed. It took me two hours to purchase all the things I needed, none of which I had coupons for.
Naturally.
And I still went over my budget. Only by a $1, but still!!!
Plus, now, I also have to bake the lunchtime snacks so I can save a few pennies there as well. I know it is healthier, but there is something to be said for convenience. And Double Stuffed Oreos.
Sigh.
Good thing I actually like baking, eh? Just not sure when I will find time to do that-maybe I can add a couple of extra hours to my day.
The only bright side to my evening was the purchase of my diet coke (aka diet crack) and the most, delicious thing I have ever tasted. Mmmm...I found chocolate peanut butter. It is so yummy that I'm not sure if I will ever eat another Reese's Peanut Butter Cup after this. Now, just so you all know, I am very product loyal. I find a brand and I stick too it. I'm funny like that. Plus, like me, my family is picky. So, while checking out the Welch's Grape Jelly, I found this chocolate peanut butter stuff. It is totally to die for!! Now, I am not a huge fan of peanut butter-I eat it every so often. But this stuff, I had to buy. First, it was $3.56 for 16 oz. jar and let me tell you, worth every penny of it.
It was my one big splurge.
And second, it was yummy. Have I told you that yet?
It's made by Peanut Butter and Co. and it is called Dark Chocolate Dreams. Check out the picture below. Burn the image in your memory. You will not regret it. I promise!
OK. Back to Dark Chocolate Dreams.
On the label, it is described as "peanut butter blended with rich dark chocolate." It is most definitely, the perfect blend of chocolate and peanut butter and just so you know, I am not sharing it with Panda. Nope. It's mine.
And I will not eat it with jelly. That would be really gross. Chocolate and grape jelly really don't go very well together. I am gonna stick to plain peanut butter with my grape jelly and for my chocolate cravings, this will definitely do the trick. It also comes in other flavors, but I don't really remember them too well. They were not chocolate and peanut butter, so I kinda skipped over them. You can check out their website here for a listing of stores that carry this amazing product. I think you can even order online.
I'm sure it will probably take me about a week or two to eat it, but maybe not. Regardless, I am not sharing with Panda. Well, maybe I'll let her have a spoonful since she is my chocolate eating partner. We'll see. But sometimes a mommy's just gotta say no. I'm just sayin'.
Right? Isn't this one of those times?
I'm sure you probably think I have gone off my rocker, and you may be right, but if you like chocolate and peanut butter, check this stuff out. Now, this is not a paid review or anything like that. It is a public service for all you peanut butter and chocolate lovers out there from me. And, it's peanut butter, so it's kinda, sorta in that healthy category. Well, healthier than a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup at least.
Even Smokey, my gray feline furball, would not leave me alone while I was eating this stuff. He likes ice cream, especially from Dairy Queen and now, of course he sampled the chocolate peanut butter and is my best friend. He was even purring after he checked out the chocolaty peanut butter goodness! He also would not leave me alone. My mistake. I should have never given him a taste. He is a pain like that. So, folks, take it from me and Smokey the feline furball, this stuff is the bomb. So, why are you still reading this? Go get yourself some and let me know what you think.

Not the Needle!

I had to visit DrPain today and I must say, I dodged the needle folks!! Again. I am so slick like that.
Back in October, I had Mohs surgery to remove a basal cell carcinoma from the top of my nose.
For those who have not heard of Mohs surgery, it is a surgery where the doctor microscopically removes the cancer cells, layer by layer, until all the cancer cells are gone. If you are not the patient, it is a very cool process. They take pathological samples and look at them under a microscope to determine if they have removed all the cancer cells from that layer of skin. If there are still cancer cells present, they go back in and repeat the procedure. They then examine the samples and sometimes, there is the need to go back in a third time. It is really all dependent on how deep the cancer cells have gone. In my case, they did this procedure two times before DrCancerCutter determined the cancer cells were gone.
Did you want to know all that? Probably not, but consider it a little bonus for reading my blog. Oh, and if you have nothing else better to do with your money, how about donating to the American Cancer Society here.
But I digress.
After the initial surgery, I was sent to visit DrPain, so he could fix the gianormous hole DrCancerCutter made.
Since November, I have been going back every 4-6 weeks for a quick checkup on the healing progress. In the beginning of December, DrPain suggested a cortisone shot to reduce the swelling in my nose. Recalling the extreme pain of the needle, I quick-like declined and opted to wait until my next visit.
On Christmas Eve, yes, he actually had hours on Christmas Eve (remember he IS DrPain), I went in for another checkup and he brought up the topic of cortisone again. I hemmed and hawed and left without having to face the nose needle of pain. He told me if the swelling increased, to come back and he would give the cortisone shot to reduce the swelling. Being the great patient I am, I did not so much as give a little wave when the swelling in my nose began to increase. I did what any mom would do, I ignored it. Actually, I was so busy doing other things for my peeps, that I just didn't have time to pay DrPain a visit. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
So, having successfully avoided the nose needle, I went very apprehensively to visit DrPain this morning. Especially since I was well aware that my nose was still swollen. Sure enough, not 10 seconds in the exam room and he was pushing that cortisone shot. Right away, I responded with nope, not gonna happen. And then to smooth the waters a bit, I asked him if I REALLY needed the cortisone shot. As in-Do I have to have it? He said no, not today, but it would help the swelling go down faster. So, I told him I was OK with the swelling and it wasn't bothering me in the least.
Did you expect any less of me?
DrPain, acquiesced, but threw down the gauntlet. Next appointment, if there is still swelling, I have to do the cortisone shot. If the swelling is down, I still get to dance with the needle and they will do a dermabrasion thing to smooth the area where they dug out those mean, old, nasty cancer cells. Lovely. I am already panicking about that appointment, I tell ya. Either way, cortisone shot or dermabrasion, I get that freakin' needle.
Now, I am not a 'fraidy cat when it comes to needles. Hell, I had three epidurals wide awake, slightly numbed, which led to three c-sections, with minimal to no pain meds. Even from my MOHs surgery, I did not do the pain meds. They make me sick.
I would never be a good drug addict. Just so you know.
OK. Back to the needle.
It freakin' hurts. And I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. The first 3 times they stuck the needle in my nose, it hurt, but I was able to deal. That was during the surgery itself. Immediately following the surgery, I went to DrPain's office so he could repair the crater in my nose, fill it, skin graft it and then stitch it up. Just that process entailed four needle insertions. It was during those last 4 times that I lost it. The pain was so intense and I could not stop crying. Mike had held my hand during those needle insertions and I left pretty deep nail marks in his skin. Good thing he is tough like that.
The surgery itself was a piece of cake. It hurt more for them to numb my nose than it did for the surgery. This is why I am avoiding that needle. I am generally an excellent patient. If the doctor tells me to do something, I do it. DrPain, as sweet and kind as he is, has not yet persuaded me to succumb to the needle.
Only six short weeks away and I am already panicking.
In the words of Panda, I no can't want it.
I really do not think I can deal with that appointment. I might need to reschedule. Like for my next life.

Mom Needs Prozac

With each day, I find my anxiety issues returning. Today, I am seriously overwhelmed. I am the do-it-all-right-freakin'-now mom. And, frankly, I'm tired. In case you're interested.
Monkeyboy is having a difficult time with Algebra I still. Now that he is in the virtual school, it is a bit harder because he has to ask the teacher for assistance, if he does not understand something. He had to do this at his traditional school, but he didn't. He skated by because his teacher did not grade every assignment and his quarterly projects saved his butt. Now, however, he must actually work for good Math grades. Life's rough, eh?
His Algebra teacher is pretty accommodating. He has day, evening and weekend office hours and if Monkeyboy calls or emails him, he responds pretty quickly. The issue is really with the Monkeyboy. He thinks he knows everything and does the work just to get it done. Typical, I know, for his age. However, since his teacher actually grades each assignment, this does not bode well for his average. He is, to put it bluntly, half-assing his work. The kicker is, if he does not step up to the plate, his teacher will withdraw him from the course and he will have to go back to his Not So Great Middle School. Definitely sucks to be him!! It is a bit complicated, but he put himself into this situation. And it is stressing me out.
I have been telling him this for 2 weeks now, but apparently, I was not in the "know." I believe the operative words are "I told you so."
I am also so over a twelve year old thinking he knows more than me. I made it through elementary, middle and high school, college and a year of grad school, relatively on my own. I also have 30+ years of real life experience to draw from as well. Let's just say, I've been around. Oh, and just so you know, I is edumacated.
The other day, Monkeyboy thought he was so scary smart. He completed some example problems and checked them to see if they were right. When I looked them over, they were wrong. I told him they were wrong and I backed it up with reasons why they were wrong. After all that, he even had the audacity to insist that the problems were correct. Well, when we looked up the answer, guess who was right? Yeppers, that'll be me. HA! This old mom remembers a thing or two from Algebra, thank you very much.
In addition to being Monkeyboy's Algebra tutor, I am Panda and Mini Me's homework consultant and story listener. They try to pump me for homework answers, when they are too lazy to do it themselves. It's not working for them though. I am way too smart for their games. That's why I'm the mommy. They definitely need a new approach. I am also required to listen to Panda and Mini Me read aloud various chapter books, as well as stories they have written themselves. It is all part of my daily grind.
I am also cook, baker, laundry maid and house cleaner. And I am the bill payer, dog walker, taxi driver, library book keeper, appointment keeper, social chair and overall house slave.
I AM the CEO, thank you very much.
At the time of conception, however, these additional duties were not specified in my contract. Just so you know. I examined it closely, with an extra large magnifying glass and with both my four eyes and the ones in back of my head. I swear. Nowhere, in that contract, did it say that my everyday responsibilities would take 36 of the 24 hours in the day. Those weasels. I was tricked. What a scam!
Did I mention that in between my regular mom "duties", I work, attend training sessions, and blog. I do all this from my cave, during the time when my peeps are either sleeping, in school or sometimes, if it can't be helped, when they are home and they are awake. Sometimes, when I am desperate, I bribe the peeps with Netflix movies, popcorn and cookies. When I am truly desperate, I let them have juice, soda and candy, no questions asked.
I have no shame.
Everyone has a price.
Sometimes, I wish I had a job outside of my house. I would get 2-fifteens and a lunch break to myself, to actually take a break or leisurely eat my lunch. As it is, I generally forgo breakfast and suck down some brunch about 10:30 or so, in either my car or in the cave.
I definitely don't criticise any mom who chooses to work outside the home. We all gotta do what works for our families. I would just like some respect. I am really tired of people dissing me because I am a stay-at-home mom. Please. I may look like I eat bon-bons all day, but I clearly am not standing still while I eat them. I do have a brain, which I occasionally must use to figure out things like what to cook, how to plan a birthday party and Algebra. Sometimes I even use it to lash out a witty comment to the Jap moms on the soccer field who think they are all that. I'm just sayin' now.
Truth be told, words from ignoramus' don't really bother me. It goes in one ear and out my keyboard. Whatever. It is the attitude.
Some time ago, at a gathering I was attending, one of the working moms, (who works in a real live office with breaks), was casually asked what she was making for dinner. Her response? I don't cook, I work. What? Are you kidding me? I work too and I have three kids to your one kid. And I cook food for my family too. Real food. And I volunteer at the school, grocery shop, and sometimes, if it is a good night, I get four consecutive hours of sleep. This working mom also doesn't clean her own house. Neither do I, but that's another story. And I do not begrudge her any of that. It was just the attitude. That is was beneath her. WTF? That's the stuff that makes blood shoot from my eyeballs and raises my anxiety level more. And it pisses me off!!!
Unfortunately, the house cleaning fairy has never made an appearance at my home. And not from my lack of trying. Even chocolate didn't work. Real moms take chocolate. The fairy has a wand. She doesn't play too fair.
Sigh.
So, I am hoping tonight I can ease my anxiety a little and finish some of the books I have recently started. It seems, though, the minute I open my book to read, I am asleep. Within seconds. At first, I thought it was the book. Nope. Even books by my favorite authors like Brad Thor, Vince Flynn and David Baldacci put me to sleep. And I LOVE, LOVE their books. I'm finding, with all my mom duties, if I stop and sit down for more than 60 seconds without uttering a word, I pass out cold. This, unfortunately has also happened while someone was talking to me both in person and while on the phone, in mid-conversation. Whatever.
Clearly I am sleep deprived.
Which leads me to a potential solution to my anxiety problem. Can I voluntarily commit myself? Or will one of my friends, who really, really love me, have me Baker Acted? If that will buy me some mommy time, I'll take it. I'm betting the shrink would love to do a psych evaluation on me.
All kidding aside, I am really a bit overwhelmed and anxious. The economy crap and Mike recently being laid off is adding to my stress. I am just trying to keep it together this week. Basically, I am just a mommy on the edge, who has most definitely, lost her mind.